When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

I felt like an adult when I learned to say yes to good things and no to bad things. It was a moment that marked a significant shift in my perception of myself and my capabilities. This transformation didn’t occur overnight; rather, it was a gradual process of self-discovery and maturation that ultimately led to that pivotal moment.

As a child, I was used to saying “yes” to nearly everything. I embraced new experiences with an open heart and an insatiable curiosity. However, this eagerness to please and explore could sometimes lead me down paths that weren’t in my best interest. I found it challenging to distinguish between what was genuinely beneficial and what was detrimental to my growth and well-being.

It was in my late teens and early twenties that I began to develop a sense of discernment. I started to realize that saying “yes” to everything wasn’t a badge of honor, but rather a recipe for burnout and a lack of focus on my goals. It was crucial for my personal and professional development to recognize when to decline opportunities or commitments that didn’t align with my values, aspirations, or priorities.

Saying “yes” to good things meant making choices that advanced my long-term goals. It meant dedicating time and energy to relationships that were nurturing, career opportunities that were aligned with my passions, and personal pursuits that enriched my life. The ability to recognize these opportunities and seize them was empowering, and it made me feel more in control of my destiny.

On the other hand, learning to say “no” to bad things was equally transformative. This wasn’t about being negative or closed-minded but about protecting my time, energy, and mental well-being. Saying “no” to toxic relationships, unproductive commitments, or distractions that hindered my growth allowed me to prioritize self-care and personal development.

The first time I truly felt like a grown-up was when I declined an invitation to a social event that conflicted with an important career opportunity. It was a difficult decision, as I didn’t want to disappoint friends, but I realized that my long-term goals were more important. The sense of responsibility and the courage to make that choice marked a turning point in my life.

That moment of clarity was a testament to my growth as an individual. It signified my transition from a young person eager to please others into an adult who understood the importance of self-care, self-prioritization, and taking control of one’s life.

In the journey of becoming an adult, learning to say “yes” to good things and “no” to bad things is an essential milestone. It’s a skill that requires self-awareness, courage, and the willingness to make tough decisions. While the path to adulthood is a continuous evolution, this ability to discern and prioritize has undoubtedly been a defining feature of my journey towards becoming a responsible and empowered grown-up.


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