Don’t keep quiet about Depression.

Depression is a mental illness where the patient feels sadness and loss for an extended period of time. Symptoms can include feelings of hopelessness, anger, irritability, and general loss of interest in the world around them. People who are depressed are often preoccupied with their negative feelings, caused by negative thoughts. These negative thoughts can come in the form of “I’m worthless” or “I’ll never be better.” Social relationships can become strained because patients feel they have less to give to others. Depression is an incredibly complex and misunderstood disorder that can permeate mental, emotional, and physical health. There is a lot of stigma around the disorder, and many people do not know how to talk about it in a meaningful way.

This blog post will help you get started on the right foot when talking with others about depression.

Depression is real. It does not discriminate or judge you by your goals or desires even though it might seem like it at times. It can be debilitating and often leads to feelings of hopelessness which eventually result in suicidal ideation or attempts by some people who suffer from this condition. Many people with depression go to great lengths to conceal this disorder from others, including seeking the words to say to explain their struggles. This is not because they are ashamed of their struggles or want to diminish them, but rather they are trying their best to find the right words so that others might understand and be more open about it.

By no means is this article meant as a way to invalidate or discredit someone’s struggle. Even if you think you know all the answers, there are no wrong answers when it comes down it how depression is approached. The point of this article is simply to give tips on how one can be supportive and understanding of someone who has depression.

Here are some tips:

1.       Be patient and compassionate: depression takes a toll on people and it is not something that goes away overnight. Whether we like it or not, we will feel frustrated and impatient with those who suffer from depression on occasion. It is important to be patient with others, particularly when they are going through a tough time. They may not see things the way you do, but every person experience reality differently. One might think that they need to snap out of it, but it is more of a case where they need to find the right treatment plan that works for them.

2.       Be a good listener: often times the best thing you can do for those who suffer from depression is listen to them. They need someone who they can talk to, so be that person. Listen without judgment, and if you have suggestions as to how they could help themselves feel better, offer them gently and with care. This might not be easy for you, because everyone wants to help those they love, but if the other person responds negatively or becomes defensive that it is important that you listen further before responding with a counter argument or a pep talk.

3.       Ask questions: this is one of the best ways to show someone that you care about their condition without being too invasive. One example of this is asking if you can offer help in doing certain things that might make their life easier, like cleaning the house. Another example would be asking if there are any activities, they used to enjoy doing but haven’t felt like doing lately because of their condition. You might be surprised about how happy they will be to talk to you about these things, even though it might seem mundane or trivial to you.

4.       Be willing to get educated about depression: even if you have heard of the disorder before, it is always worth getting educated on what depression actually is and what types of symptoms someone with it will have after being diagnosed. One good place to start would be the Depression Awareness Campaign. This website is a great place to start to understand both depression and anxiety. The more educated we are about it, the better we can understand what someone with it is going through and how we might be able to help them.

5.       Be or become involved in their treatment and seek or recommend therapy: for some people, it might seem like the best thing they can do for someone who suffers from depression is to get involved in their treatment plan. This means getting educated on what treatments work well for the condition and taking an active role in getting them to go to therapy or counseling sessions regularly. It might also include recommending the right therapist or counselor for them as well, but make sure to do your research first.

6.       Be understanding of symptoms: symptoms of depression can be incredibly varied and often times can be very hard to understand because they differ from person to person. The symptoms listed on the National Institute of Mental Health website are a good starting point to learn more about symptoms, but it is even more helpful if you ask someone directly what symptoms they have been experiencing and how it has affected them. This way you can better understand their condition and offer support by talking about certain symptoms with them rather than making general comments about what you think depression is like based on anecdotal evidence or hearsay.

7.       Watch the words you use: there are certain words and phrases you should probably avoid when talking with someone who has depression. One example of this is to not say “snap out of it” or anything similar to it. This can be very problematic for someone who is suffering from the condition. It might seem like a good way to handle things, but odds are that they have already tried everything they could think of to snap out of it, and that obviously hasn’t worked as evidenced by their depression getting worse. Another thing one should try to avoid saying is telling them they have a “positive attitude. When someone is feeling down, it is often difficult to muster up the energy to fake a positive attitude, and that is fine. It might be best to just avoid this term altogether, but if you do use it, be sure to explain what you mean by it so that they don’t think you are trying to minimize their feelings.

8.       Be hopeful without being too optimistic: it is important not to underestimate the power of hope when dealing with depression. Just because someone has depression doesn’t mean they can’t or won’t improve their condition or at least make some positive changes in their lives. It is important not to be overly optimistic about their condition, but a little hope can go a long way in helping someone who suffers from depression. There are no benefits to being overly pessimistic about someone’s condition because that will just cause them to feel worse about themselves, which will have a negative impact on their depression.

9.       Realize that it might not be just one thing: just because one person has depression does not mean it was caused by one single factor. In fact, for many people it might take a combination of different factors to make them feel depressed or anxious, and those factors could differ from person to person. It is important not to assume that it is always one thing, even if someone who suffers from depression says there is only one thing causing their depression, because chances are it is not. Their struggle might be something more complicated than they think it is or their impairment might be caused by many different factors.

10.       Don’t expect them to snap out of it: you can’t force someone to snap out of their depression and there isn’t much that you can do to help them feel better or “snap out of it.” You can give them hope and show them that they will get better through your actions, words and assistance in getting the actual treatment they need. The best thing you can do is to be there for them when they feel like sliding into a depression or having another bout of anxiety. They might need an outlet to vent their emotions or they might want some reassuring that they will be able to get better. Either way, just being there for them with care and concern can help them get through this difficult time in their lives.

In conclusion, depression and anxiety are very real and very serious mental health conditions. They can affect anyone when the right circumstances arise. It is important to know what signs to look for when dealing with someone who suffers from depression because it will make things easier for you to talk with them about it and offer them the help they might need. If you or someone you care about is struggling with symptoms of depression, you might want to consider reading some books on the subject or researching some treatment options online for more information on how to deal with it. A little bit of knowledge can go a long way, and it can help you figure out what to say to someone who is suffering. Keep the tips above in mind when dealing with them and you should be able to handle whatever they are going through.